Saturday, May 10, 2014

Oldy But Moldy

This was a blog post that I did under the pen name 'Sal Monella' back in 2005. It got some laughs and good feedback from some notable Intelligent Design scholars and even a few scholarly detractors when first released. William Dembski even linked to it over at Uncommon Descent back then when he was still the operative moderator. Hope you get some renewed enjoyment from the current re-rehash of it.

Evolutionists Anonymous: A 12 Step Program for Those who Suffer from Methodological Naturalism 

The following 12 steps have worked for those of us who were previously suffering from the bondage of evolutionary theory. If you happen to be suffering as we once were, we suggest that you give them a try.
1. We admitted we were powerless over Evolutionary Theory and that our research in the various fields of science had become horrendously unfruitful as a result.

2. Came to the valid inference that an Intelligent Cause much greater than time, chance, and natural processes was responsible for the fine-tuning of the universe and complexity in biology. And we understood that such a postulate could restore us to scientific integrity.

3. Made a decision to turn our efforts and research over to the duty of detecting specified complexity in nature as it was placed by an Intelligent Cause and committed ourselves to leaving specific questions about said Cause open for later philosophical discussion.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our scientific methods and our previous dogmatic, antisupernatural biases.

5. Admitted to an unspecified designer, to ourselves, and to another scientist the exact nature of our errors.

 6. Were entirely ready commit to a robust ID research program in an effort to make amends for years of methodological naturalism.

7. Humbly asked the unspecified designer to remove our naturalistic presuppositions.

8. Made a list of all ID theorists we had publicly slandered, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made public amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would jeopardize their tenure, research grants, or hopes for a fair dissertation examination.

10. Continued to take inventory of our scientific methodology and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through hypotheses, testing, and experimentation to improve our ability to detect design in nature, hoping only for a better understanding of irreducibly complex biological systems and for research grants to further such investigation.

12. Having been set free from dogmatic methodological naturalism as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other suffering evolutionists whenever possible, and to practice these basic ID postulates in all of our scientific affairs to the best of our ability.

Although these previous 12 steps are only a suggestion, they have been incredibly successful in helping many a confused, depressed, and hopeless scientist break free from the bondage of macro-evolution and subsequently live a life of complete scientific satisfaction and integrity . . . one day at a time.


Anonymous Jesus H. Christ said...

Five children killed by lightning while decorating a Christian cross!!??

Praise Jeeezuus!!!!!!! Praise his holy name!!!!!

A huge crucifix of Jesus falls and atheist?

No. A young Catholic man!!!!!!!

Goddamn but I love Jesus' sense of humor!!!!! Don't you!!?

Jesus, you you are one bitchin' savior!!!

But what a shame that the giant falling crucifix couldn't have squashed Pat Robertson or Franklin Graham.

Now THAT might cause me to rethink the credibility of the Christian God!!!!!!!!!!!


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